


Shifting Reality...Dream walker

by pseudocsalt



Category: Dream Cycle - H. P. Lovecraft
Genre: AOT Week, Alternate Reality, Dreams vs. Reality, Fever Dreams, Love, Love Confessions, Other, Reality Bending, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:01:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudocsalt/pseuds/pseudocsalt
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

I'm starting to believe in "reality shifting." I used to think that my sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming was an effect of my mental heath. Lately, I feel like my dreams have been communicating to me something that my consciousness is incapable of comprehending. Though, it doesn't make sense, given the fact that I am fully conscious and aware when I am in a "dream"? I think people are starting to call it reality shifting because you are fully conscious and aware of your surroundings. It's like experiencing VR, but you are able to touch, taste, smell, hear, and see. All of my five senses come alive when I am in these types of dreams. Sometimes, I shift from my sleeping body to the dream. I can see myself transitioning or moving into the dream. 

Today's dream was peculiar. How vivid these dreams are sometimes feels like a curse.   
I've heard of people reality shifting to their favorite books, anime, or movies, but I didn't think it was possible until I experienced it today.   
I was in AOT. Maybe it's because I've been obsessing over the anime recently. Still, I didn't consciously desire to enter that reality. I just found myself shifting into it.   
I was on the roof of one of the houses of wall Maria. The scouts of the anime have designated stationed areas that they have to stick to- to protect people and to kill titans. In my designated area, I was alone. I was looking for my comrades, but I kept fumbling on the house's tile roof. I've never been on top of a tile roof, so my balance was off.   
I fell into the hands of a titan. it had claws, and the eyes were sharp. The teeth were sharp. it wasn't even tall or huge like the colossal titan's that usually walk through the streets of the cities. It was one of those abnormal titan's too, which was harder to escape from. I could feel its hands cracking my bones as it tightened its grip on my body. I think it just wanted to see how I'd react to its pressure, and I gasped. I let out an exhale that only tightened my inhale. I kept thinking to myself, it's a dream. Just find a way to wake yourself up. You don't have to feel the pain of being eaten. Wake up. 

My methods of waking up usually are to quickly breathe in and out- hyperventilate- or to pinch myself. But this titan had its grip on my lungs, and my arms were under its fingers. I tried closing my eyes and opening them. All I could see was myself being shoved into its mouth. I think its easier for scouts to be swallowed whole as opposed to being chomped on. The pain of being chomped on is the worse. I felt the teeth tear my arms and my legs. It took two bites to take four of my limbs apart and to swallow me. 

Even after this, I didn't wake from my dream. Instead, I found myself in a secluded house with other scouts. It seemed that everyone was getting turned into vampires for some reason. I don't know if it was a vampire exactly, but the abilities were just the same. I was alive still, somehow, and I had all my limbs. 

After some of the scouts were being turned, they went rogue. They started to attack each other. Their strength was beyond human strength and titan strength. They ripped apart people and were eating them- for their blood, not their flesh. Not only was I fending off Titan's, I was also fighting off volatile vampires that were my friends. 

I truly don't understand how a dream is capable of warping your memories and creating these characters that you become. I became the person in my dream, and when I had to fend off a vampire that was my friend, I couldn't hurt them. I kept crying watching them try to catch me and hurt me, but I still didn't leave them because I didn't want them to get killed. I started getting flashbacks of this person's smile and moments we had together. We would eat together, and train together. 

We continued fighting until daylight. The friend would attack, and I would dodge. It's like we were dancing. They couldn't control the rage that their body imposed on them and they would shout, "leave!" "get away from me", but I couldn't. I just cried. I thought, I still have a chance to sustain them and tame them once daylight came. 

So when we reached morning, I opened the curtains to the room, and the friend burned enough to stop in its tracks. I quickly closed the curtains, wrapped them in a blanket to swaddle and stop them from moving. Though, they started to quickly heal and regain their enraged hunger, so they leaped at the chance to drain me of my blood- 

that's when I woke up.


	2. A parallel me

I had this dream on January 14, 2021.  
It's one of those apocalyptic type of dreams. Except, it felt like I traveled into the future of an alternate dimension. That probably doesn't make sense, but maybe explaining the dream will help understand...

I woke up in the dream to someone touching me affectionately. I didn't hesitate to reciprocate or indulge in the pleasure. It felt pent up as though we were both waiting for the right timing to finally touch each other and be intimate.  
This partner of mine was a parallel me.  
It's hard to explain, but what I felt for this person was like looking into a reflection that was not my own. He was the male version of me, and we were together, about to make love because our kids, a daughter and a son, were finally fast asleep. We took that chance to embrace each other.  
We were all in the same area together though. Building were deconstructed around us, broken cement blocks were hiding us in a dark crevice. We were all sleeping on the floor of an isolated city and street.  
Amidst this chaotic setting, my husband and I had made love. I could feel him preparing me body (foreplay)- and I could feel him inside of me. I was there, and I could feel the softness of his hair. I could feel everything and see it all.  
Soon after, he quickly woke the kids. We had to keep moving, and he was leading the way. In the distance, I could see machines breaking down skyscrapers. We could see these colossal machines bringing entire buildings down in a second, and the fear in me was ignited again. It was as though I was being re-traumatized. For a moment, I felt safe because they were at a distance, but witnessing their power made me feel the need to run.  
And that's exactly what we were doing. We were running.  
It felt effortless too because of how unified we all were. The children surprised me.  
In this current, real life, I never want to have kids, and I plan to never have kids. Truth is, I dislike kids. I don't understand why a person chooses to procreate when the world is in an absolute crisis. I just think, why put your kid through that shit? They will be a whole person having to experience this shitty world....  
But I digress, in the dream, I had these two kids.  
They were like me when I was a kid, serious, quiet, attentive, and without hesitation, they listened to our every word like it was god speaking to them.  
I don't know if it was because they were also traumatized and afraid- that they became subservient to us when we told them what to do.  
They looked distressed and sad, and it made me concerned. I was holding both of them as we ran together, and I would try to talk to them and cheer them up. They would smile at me for a while before returning to their stale, worried face.  
My husband was the one guiding us to a place he knew where to go. There was not a single other person in sight. It was empty. All that we saw were those machines in the distance. Bodies were no where. All that we were surrounded by was broken buildings. It was like they were looking for us. The last people that existed in that city.  
We reached an abandoned lab, and my husband knew where to go. For some reason, I trusted everything. I didn't hesitate because I knew he knew what to do. When we got inside, there was a single door in the middle of a lobby just standing there, upright. He quickly opened the door, and this door took us to another time and place, either in the same world? or another world?  
As we walked through the door, we shifted from chaotic noise to complete silence and elevator music.  
The setting we were in was like a book store within a lobby next to a coffee shop. We were in the back of the book store hidden behind a shelf, and before going forward, my husband gave me a look. It was like a signal, and something in my memory popped up where I saw that my husband used to work for an organization of men in uniform, sort of like a militant official. He was trained and he was also very intelligent. Except, his values no longer aligned with the organization's new goal. We became a target.  
And those men somehow found out that we were going to be there at that time and place, but my husband also knew that they were aware of our whereabouts. So he prepared me and the kids. I felt sadness. Like I knew he was going to die trying to prevent them from capturing us. I watched him jump over the bookshelf to divert their attention, and the men in uniform initated their attack on us. Down the aisle of the bookshelf we were hiding behind, a bouncing ball with a string attached to it was approaching us. It was a trap. For some reason, I knew what it was. It was a mechanism that released a razor that would tear us to pieces if it reached us. It took me a second just to react and jump over the bookshelf. One of the men in uniform saw us and started to attack. I could only dodge for so long, until my husband reached us. He said to me, "GO NOW!!" and I ran off. As I ran, I could hear him shouting to me, "Remember what I told you about this member. He will stop at nothing to get to you, so do not stop running!"  
I didn't look back because I knew. He was right. I can't stop. I held back my tears, and I saw the next door we had to reach. It wasn't far away. One of the employees of the book store saw us, and I asked her to help me reach the door. She quietly and secretly tried to take us before the man could catch up to us. Just as we got to the door in the middle of a shelf, he caught up to us.  
Before he could strike us, another group of uniformed people stood before us to stop him. They didn't have to say a lot for him to acknowledge he was at a dead end and needed to stop.  
They said to him, "Your death was not in vain. you still exist in these walls, look" the front man pointed to the electricity traveling along the walls. He said, "your energy and will still exist, and you coincide with our world. Stop what you're doing while you still have the chance."  
I don't know why they were after us, or why these people were protecting us. I knew that my husband was a part of their organization- like a team of military scientists.  
Seeing that the man got away from my husband, I was sure that he took him down. I don't know if he killed him. I just knew i had to keep going even if it meant leaving him behind. It's what my husband wanted, and it's what I needed to do to get my kids across to what was beyond the door. The front man that protected us held out his arm to block the attacker and to direct us to the open door. Before going inside I looked at the attacker. I was angry with him, and he saw. He bowed his head like he was ashamed and apologetic, and that was what I last saw before going in. Going inside the door, all that we saw was blinding light. We were engulfed in light, surrounded by it, and I heard a piercing sound-like a long beep. That's when I woke up...

I dreamt of the parallel me again...


	3. Revisiting my parallel self

I wrote about him the day after.   
My journal entry (01.15.2021):

I can't stop thinking about that guy in my dreams. The one I had two kids with...that was so fucking weird. I say it all the time and I believe it all the time- "i'm never having kids & I don't want any"   
is that what I want? HELL NO. I can't. But in this dream, we had those kids. They were just like me. I really don't know how it happened that I woke up in the dream to him sucking my nipples & us having really fucking amazing sex. Satisfying sex. Like the type to make you feel like you'd be happy dying after having such good sex. It was pure, innocent, intimate, loving, passionate...  
I wish I could still see him. It feels like the only way I can see him is by seeing him in my dreams. 

...

I had this yearning to see him again, basically. I wanted to see him again because I couldn't make sense of the feeling I got from being with him. People say when you fall in love or when you're with the person you love, it feels like you've known them your whole life. I've fallen in love in real life three times, and had that exact feeling.   
This love in this dream wasn't like that though. It felt parallel? if that makes sense...it felt like my movements and my mannerisms coincided with his. We reciprocated without verbally communicating. We just knew what each other wanted from the other. It felt like we were some kind of anomaly. 

It was strange because after this, the algorithm in my social media platforms started to converse with these thoughts.   
My feed would show me a manga called, "I am my wife" which is basically the main character goes back to the past after turning into a female & he falls in love with himself.   
Another thing I received was a video called, "the Rendezvous Storyboard". this is a video that shows how a girl is miserable with her reality and uses her dreaming self as a form of escapism. She meets a handsome man in her dreams and falls in love with him. Because she is so happy in her dream as opposed to her real life, she often sedates herself or forces herself to sleep to meet the man in her dreams. Her real life becomes too difficult for her to the point that she kills herself to stay with the man in her dreams. Except when she does kill herself, that man turns into death- and he takes her away from her paradise. 

A similar video posted by Honey3Bee popped up on my feed, portraying this plot. The weirder part is that Honey3Bee used the song Gully Boys - Neopet Graveyard. I say that because I posted a video with that song on January 11th. Whereas, Honey3Bee posted on January 19. After my dream...and after my journal entry.   
It was all in my feed. I never posted a single thing about my dreams until now. I just wrote about it. 

I can't tell if the UX.UI designers are manipulating my algorithm to send me a threat or a warning, but "the Rendezvous Storyboard" seems to be an attempt at telling me my life is miserable. My life is far from miserable. and the person I dream about was a parallel version of myself...It's an eerie coincidence? 

The next day I dreamt about him. After yearning, and hoping, I met him again...


	4. Shifting to the past

January, 16. 2021,  
My second journal entry seeing him. 

Listen to 

"oaf1 - think abt it" or "punkinloveee & h3eartcrush - freakshow" 

while reading this. 

I woke up in the dream in the middle of me leaving an office building with colleagues. The setting was Japan-probably around the 70s or 90s. It was a little modern and a little traditional.  
I woke up to hearing my colleagues move outside the building into the vacant, dark street, chattering and laughing, and ready to go drinking. It was a group of japanese men in business suits, clutching briefcases. I was the only female dressed like a man in order to work with them. We went to a traditional style restaurant where we sat on the floor and people smoked inside. The room was filled with smoke and business men trying to wind down after working late at the office.  
The laughing and bolstering traveled across the room, but I was kind of quiet and felt like I was watching from afar. It's probably because I woke up in the dream and was conscious, so I was observing this experience unravel. I felt in awe to be in Japan during this era. It was dangerous, but it was aesthetically leaving me in awe.  
After finishing our drinking and eating, the group decided to split up. Half of the men were going to a hotel after hiring hookers, and the other half were going to a theater on water...

I went with the group to go watch a movie. It was the strangest thing to be watching a projection of an old style, color american film subtitled with Hiragana and Kanji. Somehow I understood everything that was happening, but I was silently observing hoping no one would take note of me being aware...being conscious...

There was a tarp below us that we floated a top of. The owner, a bald man in a robe, had abilities that helped him manipulate the flow of the water and the actions of the creatures that resided in it. It wasn't an ocean, but a deep lake where you could see the fat, long snakes swimming below. There were a few enormous fish, but the snakes were the ones that frightened me the most. I'm generally afraid of any deep water, and to see the creatures had my heart racing and my body trembling and shivering. Everyone was calm though. It seemed like a natural routine for them to be watching a huge projection while floating a top of water- as if we were all on a water bed. There were waves, but not big enough to toss us.  
He was watching me very closely after I started to shift from the front row to the back row. I was trying to get away without being noticed, but he saw me trembling and decided to make an announcement to everyone in the room, "I just want to let you all know that I've trained all the creatures of this sea. Do not fear them. They are harmless creatures." Everyone heard him and nodded but they weren't fazed by it. They were enthralled by the film. It was normal to them. Just as he said so, snakes started to swarm under me. I could see the outline of their fat bellies protruding through the tarp. It was more than two snakes swarming under me, trying to shove me out of the water. None of them were surrounding other people in the theater, and the bald man took notice.  
He watched me leave hastily.  
Before he could reach me, I lost him. 

And I finally took the chance to wander the area of this dream. I saw a rail track trolley propped up on tracks on top of grass and a mountain that went over water. It was an arch --and the beginning of it was at where I was standing. 

Just as I heard the bald man approaching, I hopped on the trolley and pushed as hard and as fast as I could. I wasn't ready to leave the dream. I wanted to explore.  
I could see the light where the theater was growing smaller as I pushed. I felt like I escaped and felt free.  
In that moment, the trolley kept moving over the hill and I stood up spread out my arms and shouted, "WOOHOOO". I felt the fresh air that came from the trees and water below. It's like I was passing through a lagoon. I could see the reflection of the full moon in the water and the city in the distance. All those bright, yellow, red, dull hues of light made me excited and I could feel the breeze running trough my open fingers and tips. As though I was hugging the wind. I couldn't stop myself from experiencing the moment.  
I could smell the grass and the water. It was like being in a forest preserve, and I could finally breathe. I stopped the trolley at the top of the hill and looked around holding on to the railings and looking below to the water. And just as I looked up, I saw a traditional style japanese home. There was a woman in a kimono either lighting the lantern post or turning it off. She was about to, but then she saw me. There was a tree just above the house that outlined the perfect image, and I held out my fingers as to hold the frame and pretend like I was taking a camera shot of such a beautiful view. She was perplexed by my motion, so she waved at me. And it made me laugh. She acknowledged me, and it surprised me to see that I truly existed in this dream for other characters to notice me. I waved back at her in excitement and hysterically laughed. She went back into her home, and I was standing at the foot of the mountain, ready to return because I knew that bald man was probably waiting for me... So i surrendered. 

When I got back, he had a group of men pick me up, and as they did, he told me, "you don't belong here. You have to leave." I didn't reply. I was still smiling because I was so happy that I waved at a beautiful geisha. "I like it here," I said.  
He got upset, and yelled, "You can't stay here!" He nodded to his men carrying me by the arms, as to signal, "do it".  
I didn't know what they were going to do until it happened. 

We were in an empty, enormous auditorium, where there was this huge tank of water. U<<< looked like this and was made of clear glass. I could see straight through the mercy, orange water. There were fish and other things in there.  
The men walked across a ledge that was held above the water, and they let me dangle above to watch me look into the water. I didn't really mind it. I just thought, I guess I'll wake up out of this dream by drowning.  
They saw my indifference, and the bald man shouted from below, "what are you waiting for? drop her! now!" and so they did.  
The water wasn't even cold. it was warm and it looked beautiful from inside.  
I could see everything. The water's contaminants and the people outside of the glass. I held out my palm to the glass and was floating down, thinking, "this isn't a bad way to die," and just as I thought this, I saw him at a distance. He was flying across the room and heading straight towards me. It felt so slow when he reached the glass. I could see him on the opposite end of it, as though I was looking into a double faced mirror. our palms met and he shot through the glass breaking the cylinder in half.  
I woke up to us on the floor.  
He was holding on to me, drenched, and the shards of glass surrounded us. People had ran up to us, surrounding us. Women were squealing at the sight of him because he was gorgeous and took him for a superhero for having saved me from drowning.  
Others were recording and taking pictures, trying to capture what just occurred. In a second, the flashes stood still, and everyone's movements stopped- except ours. Somehow time stopped, but he and I were able to move. He said, "Let's go and get away from this." I was still in shock to see him again, so he picked me up and dragged me away. I was thinking, it was just yesterday I was hoping to see you, and he gave me a look that said, "I know you missed me." We went into an isolated, blue dim lit room. Immediately started to kiss, and my heart started to race. I thought, "Oh no." I'm going to wake up. He knew too. He could feel my racing heart, but he took the chance to keep kissing me until I disappeared. I don't know between which kiss it was that I woke up, but I did. 

And to this day...14 days since...I haven't dreamt of him since...Am I ever going to see him again?


	5. Japanese Lover

01.31.2021

I dreamt of a woman I used to be in love with. For the sake of anonymity, her name is Yuki.  
Maybe it's because I've been reading too much manga or because I was reading yuri this time. My sexuality is on the spectrum. I love men, women, trans women, trans men, and any nonbinary- Essentially pansexual. I consider myself non binary because fuck gender roles.  
This lady I had a dream of was someone I met in college. She was someone that was there for me in times of distress. She had this compassion that made her feel how I felt. I've never had someone cry for me for something that happened to me, and I think that's what made me want her. Coincidentally, she's from Japan. It's probably because I dreamt about Japan, and I've been doing some research whether to move over there or not...

So how did I dream about her? ...

I woke up in the dream at an office. My mom was the ceo of the company, and she had me come in to work for the company. When I walked in to the office, one of the HR employees was walking at my side, guiding me around the office and introducing me to everyone. As the daughter of the CEO, a lot of people were walking on eggshells around me. They were sweet, accommodating, and intimidated. 

I was finally shown to my desk area, where I had three other colleagues of stature. They were also my friends in the dream. People that I apparently went to either high school or college with. This made the tension on my face relax into a smile. I was happy to be working with my friends. When the H.R. employee had shown me to the area, they quickly started talking about the project we were going to be working on. From there, I started working in this office setting. 

I don't know how many days passed that I was coming into this office working through this project with them. Eventually, we were coming to its completion. All of us were excited, giving each other pats on the back, and acknowledging one another. The entire office were congratulating us on completing. It was like an applause circled the room. 

One of my friends, a little troublemaker, took out edibles. This person took out the jar, and we shuffled in a group to the roof of the building to have them.  
I was relaxed, and everyone else was finally relaxed. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders knowing this project was finished, and my body wouldn't be stressing over what's next. I was completely coherent, just less tense. 

Coming back into our office area, standing at the center of the room was Yuki. She smiled at me when she saw me look so shocked to see her. All she said was, "Hi," and waved to me, like she knew that I was going to be happy to see her. Everyone sat down and asked about her, and I told them who she was and how we knew each other. Except, I couldn't really tell them that she was someone I knew in my real life. She had to have a role in the dream that didn't make people suspicious of us. I said she was a childhood friend, and looked back at her. She smiled and nodded, understanding what it was I was doing. The entire time, I had my hands holding hers, and I told her, "let's go talk somewhere else"  
My friends were cheering for me, after they noticed how I looked at her. They said, "don't worry. we'll cover for you."  
I felt assured, especially being in an office full of women.  
Yuki and I went to an isolated area close to the cafeteria to talk, and she was telling me how my mom hired her without hesitating because she knew our history. I found it odd to have that in the dream. My mom in my dream was similar to the mom in real life, but she wasn't her...  
Yuki was explaining how she traveled and moved because she missed me and wanted to be close to me. All of it made me happy. She wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. Hearing her say that, and the way she said it, I pushed her into an abandoned back room. 

Before doing anything, I watched her for her reaction. She was ready, and I quickly pulled her in to kiss her. Our tongues circled around each other, and she started to touch my breasts. That made me quickly rip her shirt open, and start sucking on her breasts. I pulled her down to the floor, so I could prepare her. I kissed her up to her clit, and salivated all over her. My tie was still dangling over my bare breasts, and I ripped it all off to open her legs and get in between from a top. I started to grind my hips and rubbed our clits together. Her moaning was growing, and to silence her moans, I kissed her. I could feel that we were both dripping to the floor. She whispered, "Stop. I'm going to come.." but instead, I started to grind more smoother to feel her clit rubbing up and down against mine.  
We came together.  
I quickly got dressed, but she was still getting dressed. People in the office came around the area and heard us shuffling about. Someone tried to come in, but I said, to stop- Someone is in here! I don't know what made this guy proceed to push the door open. I think he saw Yuki getting dressed, and wanted to see her, which pissed me off. So I slammed the door shut.  
She looked at me startled, but I nodded not to worry. Instead, I signaled for her to come closer to me. The dude was still pushing the door from behind me, but when Yuki came close, I kissed her again.  
I felt it. I knew. I was going to wake up...  
So as soon as Yuki finished getting dressed, I moved from the door, and the guy fell in while we shifted out. Maybe it was because I watched him fall, but when he crashed in to the room, I woke up.


	6. Apocalyptic nightmare

February, 4. 2021

I was in the dream again...It's been a while since I've traveled, and I can still remember it like it was a memory of my own. 

It began in a college library at the center of a large city. This library was what seemed like 20 floors or more. It was huge. It seemed industrial or cyberpunk. It looked like it was a place made out of recycled materials that became its own sustainable city, and it was a bubble. I woke up in the library ready. Something seemed off. It was too quiet, so I started to look through the floors. I was trying to interact with the students, but they were busy studying. I went downstairs to the main entrance, which seemed like a mansion. The stairs cascaded down like ones you see before you enter an expensive ballroom. Just as I sat on those stairs, sirens began, and troops began to walk in. Some of them could see me, and others couldn't. They ran after me, but they couldn't reach me when I got to the elevator. 

I could see the students panicking, running around, and trying to find a way out of the building without the troops reaching them. Some of them hid like they were hiding from a mass shooter. I didn't know what to do either. I just watched them and followed their lead since it was their world. I wanted to see what would happen to these students...

We got captured...

Compared to the industrial, people built city, the building all the students and citizens were taken to - was high tech, futuristic... The building was shaped in a slim sphere that had an indent- sort of like in a shape of a donut. 

Everyone stood in a line- not facing each other-but facing the window. When I was facing the window, I could see clean, cut grass, subtle hints of trees, and the sun. The land was endless. and it looked clean....  
But just as I was feeling calm watching this new area of land, the troops began shooting the people in the head, one by one. 

I could hear the gunshot nearing...and I could hear one of the students that I hid with begin to panic and lose her composure. She was a built woman with curly, long dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. She didn't even look at the troops, she just headed straight through the window. She went right through. There was no glass, just an illusion of glass..she started to run through the field, and it made me sad. I watched her get away, but I could hear the troops laughing and mocking her. They were bolstering on how they'll let her run as fast as she likes just to give her a chance to build enough false hope, and they shot her. They didn't shoot her directly in the head, but in the arm. So she kept trying to run off the field, and she shouted to all of us still standing, "Run. don't let them catch you!" What a smart woman. Just as she said so, chaos erupted. People got out of the line and all of us scattered. I watched her running away just as the troops were distracted. She was jumping off the edge of the grassland, so I ran across the fields to follow her. Everyone was running around inwards and  
outwards. Some people followed my lead and ran with me to catch up to her. I didn't know what was at the edge of this grass land until I reached it. We were at the foot of a waterfall, and I jumped in. 

...

Time passed again, and the people that managed to get away from those troops built a new city underground.  
We decided to make a sustainable world below the city of illusions. Some parts of the city were equipped with the parts of the technology that was taken from the city of illusions. Which in other words meant it was beyond our years here.  
I remember the elevator-for instance- it wasn't one that just went up and down. People would go in, and they were able to travel to the place they wanted. It was like teleporting- except you had to travel through spec of each other's memories before getting to the designated area we all wanted to get to.  
It happened again where troops began collecting the people.  
They were taking them and boarding them on a train with an open top. They were tying them up, taping their mouths, and stuffing them all together. I managed to get away with the woman from before.  
Her mother was the one that took me to the woman's home. The mother had a child with her, and the father was following. The mother helped me board the elevator before the troops caught up to us. She was swift and quiet.  
But the son and the father were a little noisy..The mother had been holding on to her son for a moment before boarding the elevator. But then she gave him to the father and dismissed them, telling them, "go distract the troops so we can get away"  
They were like ghosts...They could make themselves seen, but I couldn't touch them...sort of like an illusion...  
When we were on the elevator, I could see the library from my memories. the one I escaped...  
We reached the woman's home. I'll give her a name to not get confused..it'll be Edith. Edith was preparing equipment from room to room.  
There was something about her home that made it peculiar...it seemed important. The mother disappeared with the elevator, saying, "I'll be back later."  
Edith was the one explaining to me that we could travel just like the elevator with her home. When she said so, her home shifted to a tunnel. It was a black, wet tunnel- sort of like a sewer. We were still preparing equipment, and I asked Edith, "What are we going to do in this tunnel?" She explained that the train full of those people is standing idly. We needed to rescue them. I could hear drops of the sewer hitting the floor. A part of me wanted to stay in the house, but the other half of me- was ready. More than ready to rescue them. The mother came back and was helping us prepare our equipment and duffel bags. I was explaining to her how strange of an experience this was for me to be dreaming about. I was glad I was able to talk to her about it. Something about her being a ghost that was not seen by many made me feel like I could trust her. I was happy that I was able. "What do you mean? " She asked, And I clarified that, "I'm dreaming right now. I'm not actually here-like you." At first, she was shocked, and said, "no I am not that either. But I've heard of people like you. There's one other girl just like you that I know of." I tried to get out the words .."shif..ting...realit..ies...." but my jaw was clenching. Something was shoving my mouth down. There was this force that was making my jaw clench. She saw me begin to struggle to speak, and pulled out a pen and paper, and I said my jaw was clenched-something was clenching my jaw preventing me from saying it, but I wrote it down, "Shifting realities," she looked confused. She didn't understand it, and I was worried about waking up. So I yanked the duffel bag and ran down the tunnel until I found the train. I came up from the back of the train, so I went on top, cut the zip ties, gave whoever I loosened, knives to cut the others loose. We came from behind the troops and managed to get their guns away. We also tied them up and left them behind when everyone was finally loose. It was like chaos ensued when we went further down the tunnel. Towards the city we rebuilt, cars were caught on fire. Buildings were caught on fire, and there were children roaming the streets looking for their parents. I found Edith, and she had a kid too. She reminded me that she was my cousin, but I told her we're not family?! She said, "not by blood, but you are family now." and she handed me the baby while she braided her hair. Her dark brown skin was soft. She must've taken after the father...She braided and did her hair in a way that I've never seen. Half of it was loose hair in between thin braids, the other half was loose at the bottom and at the top half were thin-tight braids. I was carrying her thinking she must be like 3 or 4...when did Edith have her and where was the father?... all these questions must’ve shown up on my face because Edith saw and was upset that she had to explain, so instead, she made me see. She put her palm on my shoulder, and showed me her memories. She was raped...I guess in an industrial city where there is supposed to be no law, some males divert to their barbaric tendencies...I saw him on top of her- from her perspective. She tried to relax her body to make the experience less painful since she was a virgin. But I could feel the blood pouring out of her vagina. When I woke out of the memories, I looked at her daughter. It seemed so odd. She was so cute, so innocent, and beautiful. How is it possible for something so horrendous to occur for someone so beautiful to exist?

Edith's memories slipped when she was showing me one piece.  
I saw that she used to be a part of the family that created the city of Illusions. She was an heiress who ran away. Their family was looking for her, and that's when I began to get upset. Before I could start yelling at her, she stopped me to explain why she let that memory slip. " I want a few of us to infiltrate their castle to get something from my room that could help us survive." I couldn't get mad at her. This was our opportunity to save more lives from our city, so I agreed. She grabbed a few people from our city that were trained  
She also took her daughter. I thought it was too dangerous for a child her size to go, but when I said so, Edith’s daughter fought me to show me her skills. She was already trained too. Better than me and more knowledgeable on how to use the equipment from the city of illusions. So I just agreed.  
When we managed to get into her room- we shrunk. They must have done something to their home that made other wanderers shrink in size. When we were in her room, we were hiding in her brown book bag that was placed on her roller chair. Everything was white in her room, clean, and her brown bookbag was also in a rugged style but clean. We had to prepare ourselves to fight the people that might come through the room. But I knew. We had to become sacrifices to distract the bigger people from catching Edith and her daughter. One of them went after a troop that walked in- he just grabbed him with one hand and broke our person in half. I knew I had to wake up, so I went after him too. I could hear Edith and her daughter yell out to me, but it was too late. One of the troops gripped me in his palm. He must have broken me in half too because the moment I was caught in his palm, I heard the snap and I woke up. Now, today, I’ve woken up with this pain and soreness that feels like I got punched in the chest.


	7. Chapter 7

02/06/2021

5:31 a.m. 

I woke up pretty startled this morning. I heard footsteps- slippers being dragged on the floor- and I live alone. I checked all my locks. There's no way someone broke in. It startled me hearing my own feet being dragged in my slippers. Maybe I heard myself walking away or maybe I was sleepwalking? 

The dream wasn't as bad as the end of it. I feel like I keep getting traumatized being able to experience these dreams like their my reality. 

I woke up in the dream in my own room this time. Someone was at my door knocking or - leaving a package- , i thought. When I got out of my bed to get to the door, my living room, my kitchen, and my second bedroom extended out and grew larger. 

Monday, February 1st. 2021- my friend, Anon (anonymous name), sent me a message explaining to me that she dreamt of me. We were in an apocalyptic type of dream, but she described the home I was living in as a mansion. I think those words transcended into this dream. 

When everything started moving around me as I reached the door, it was the mansion she described in her dreams. 

Before I opened the door, I left the chain of my third lock still on. No one usually knocks at my door unless I'm notified before hand. When I looked at who was behind those knocks, I relaxed a bit. It was a small woman with long, black hair. She wasn't facing me, she was looking at the floor, and whispering something under her breath. I couldn't hear her, so I tried to get near her to make out what she was saying. The words still didn't make sense, so I just apologized, said, "I don't understand what you're saying. I'm going to close the door. I'm sorry." She didn't let me though. She quickly gripped on my door, tried to shove it open. It made me upset that she was trying to invade my home, so I tried slamming the door shut. She didn't let it. Instead, she pushed me in, closed the door behind her and jumped on me. she didn't hurt me though. I thought she was going to kill me, but instead, she kissed me. This made me more upset though, so I shoved her away. Though, she wouldn't let me. She kept trying to kiss me, and when she did, she started to change. A slender guy with light brown hair? or blonde hair? appeared in front of me. He was saying something like, "It's me! Don't you remember me?! Please remember me..." he hugged me, and for some reason, my heart or my chest started to warm up. I got this intense feeling in my chest and stomach that made me happy to be holding him. He made my heart flutter in a way that made me feel like I loved him. In my mind and even now, I keep thinking, I don't know him though. I've never seen him or met him in my real life or past dreams that I can remember. I didn't let him go. My arms just kept embracing him and shoving him close in my chest-like he completed that empty space between my arms and chest. I was caressing his hair and we were in my bed cuddling. He was crying a little bit because he was so happy that I was holding him. He said, "Never let me go," and I didn't. We fell asleep together in the dream, but I don't remember anything about him. He was adorable- reminded me of an elf. He had these slanted eyes and wavy, curly soft hair. Was it my parallel self?

Why be disguised as a woman?  
When he kissed me as a she, I wasn't exactly that upset. I think I was more upset at the fact that I liked it and wanted more...

When I woke up in the dream with him in my arms, I squeezed him again. He woke up slowly and was smiling- so fucking happy to wake up to me, and when I looked at him, I kept thinking, "Why the fuck are you so happy to see me? who even are you? and why are you making me feel like this?"

He was living with me in this mansion, and my friend, Anon, visited me in the dream.  
When she arrived, I was recollecting the fact that this was a dream. That this was almost her dream. I opened the door to her, looked to the left of my home, and a pool was there. Just like she described in her dream. Her hair was braided up and in a ponytail and she looked beautiful as usual. She likes the same aesthetic and gothic make up I do, so when I saw her, it felt a little normal to me. 

I embraced her and welcomed her inside. We all had fun together, but there was something still bothering me. I went outside, and I had a plot of land that looked like a farm. I saw a herd of black goats with amber eyes in an arena like platform. They were barricaded in by wooden planks, and one of them started to talk to me. Not verbally, but when I looked at him, his words were reaching my mind. He was warning me about something, and I was too in shock to communicate back. I kept thinking, "I prefer black goats as opposed to the white ones. The white ones are scarier." I think the goat got annoyed having to repeat itself and nudged me to pay attention to his message, and I just nodded, saying, "I heard you, but you can't tell me more?" and then he just walked away. 

I went to go look for Anon to tell her about the goat and my conversation with it, but instead, the guy- I'll call him, "Claude." Claude came up from behind me and started to touch me. We ended up making love in the kitchen. He stripped my top to expose my bare breasts, and shoved his dick inside me from behind. My eyes were rolling backwards. Nothing was making sense, but Claude made me feel like I was walking on clouds.  
After we finished, he told me that Anon was taking a shower upstairs. I was able to manipulate the things around me. i looked at objects and stairs and manipulated the matter, so I changed the stair case into a swirly one. I picked up items around me and rotated them around my body to see the length at which I could pick up the objects and release them. 

I don't know why, but my mother appeared. Out of nowhere. She was telling me to stop. She was saying, it's dangerous. Don't listen to them. They're not your friends. You have to be careful or you'll die.

I brushed it off, upset that she wouldn't accept the people that I love.  
When I saw Anon, she had this look of despair. She must've talked to my mother because she said, "Your family doesn't accept me. Even your grandmother." the look on Anon's face made me angry. I shifted everything in the house. I spun the entire environment- brought my family- brought Anon and Claude - and I brought a priest in a black robe. We were in what seemed like a cement dungeon, crowded in a circle around a fire coming out of a well.  
I told Anon before the priest began the ceremony, "They're going to accept you. I'll show them who we are," and that's when the priest began the ceremony. 

he began by saying, "The god of death is zero," and he threw ash into the pit of the well. "The god of death is 1", threw ash again in the pit. "The god of death is 2...." and so on. He went on in numbers until he started to account dates in B.C. , A.C. he stated dates from prehistoric times, saying, "The god of death is 1000 B.C." It's an example to note a date, but when he started to announce dates, I saw visions of people being murdered. It's as though the dates he was stating were dates in which people began to kill each other. The ash made the flames grow higher and higher until we all caught on fire. But the priest kept going. He was in flames and still announcing dates and throwing ash. My family, Anon, Claude, and I didn't move. We were all staring inside the pit of the well surrounded and engulfed in flames watching people die in our visions, and when the flames grew higher and started to corrode my vision, I transitioned to my sleeping body. I opened my eyes and heard the slippers gliding across the room...


	8. Witches?

03/01/2021

I had another one. 

I had one of those out of body experiences again. I didn't even go through the paralysis before I left my body. I was hovering over myself. I thought I was hanging from a rope at first, but then I saw my body below me. I was listening to the people talking outside my window. But I was also peaking through my blinds with my other body. I could hear them talking about me being trans and to stay away from me. I didn't listen for too long because I don't care to stick around and listen to people talk negatively of me. I took the chance to float past them and go around my neighborhood to explore. I was just floating around and then I saw a familiar balcony. I went over a fence to climb up to it. I don't know why but I was unable to float, so I had to climb up a wired fence. 

I looked around the balcony for a while, but all that was there was an abandoned building and dismantled parts. I was jumping over broken planks and got to the street below where there were students leaving their school. It was around the back of the building. I came out of nowhere, so a lot of students were staring at me. They looked upset because I was moving around the building trying to figure out where I was.. Something about their demeanor was unwelcoming. And a man in uniform picked me out of nowhere. He was taking me somewhere in a truck. It wasn't an ordinary truck either. It was steel and black. I was sitting in between two armed men in black uniform. I was getting sick of sitting there, so I began to hurt the men. I didn't physically do anything, but I just concentrated on the feeling of pain and projected it onto the guy grabbing me. I didn't want him to continue touching me, so I inflicted pain. I don't know how I did it. But I felt the burning sensation on my own body and made him feel it. He started screaming and telling the officers to stop the car so he could get out. He wanted to get away from me, but I wanted to finish giving him this pain that I was feeling. He couldn't wait anymore and immediately opened the door. All I could see was the sunshine coming from outside, and as he got out, I saw scissors on the floor. I made him trip and fall into the blades. The guy kept telling the other officers it was me, but they didn't believe him because they were watching me and saw that I didn't physically hurt him. That they didn't witness me moving to stab him with a pair of scissors, so it couldn't have been me. Though, he was certain. Something about his intuition told him that it was me. I knew it was me, but I just didn't want to get caught so I could get a chance to run away. I don't know where they took me precisely. It was an odd building, like a school, like an asylum, like a mansion? It was a beautiful building, and when I got there, all I saw were women. They were all there staring at me like, "oh, it's another one.." as if this had happened to them too. As if they were expecting me...it didn't take long for me to find myself in a uniform. The clothes were white dresses. I was looking out the window of the building as I saw other groups of girls eat lunch in a garden and courtyard. Everything in this building was beautiful, Victorian, something like I'd seen in a museum from Spain. I was standing at this full length window watching everyone. Then I saw those men in uniform come through the courtyard. All of them were in shape and toned with muscle. I felt intimidated thinking it was going to be impossible to get out of there. So I tried to hurt them from afar again. I looked at one of them, and concentrated on inflicting pain. He was receiving it and crouching down on the floor. Everyone circulated him wondering where it was coming from, and a woman older than me gripped my shoulder from behind me, and said, "stop." She was watching me from upstairs. The corridors were large and everything was open. I sensed that she was watching me, but I chose to ignore her, and continued with my own ideas. She was a little frightened by me, but she knew I was like her and she told me I was. I didn't get it, but she just told me to follow her. I followed her, and we went into a new area of this land. There was a waterfall and caves where women were bathing and walking around naked laughing and at the same time serious when they saw us walking in. The lady escorting me said, "We're different from them, and they know about us. They won't hurt us though." Nothing was making any sense. We went into a separate cave where she told me to put on a white, shimmery cloak. She said, "We're going to float facing up on this water, and you're going to keep your eyes open," a group of maybe four or five girls walked in with their cloaks. They dipped in the water and began to float on their backs together. She held my hand and helped me as I lifted myself on the water. "You'll know what to do when we're in sync," were her last words to me. The water wasn't even cold. I just looked up at the domes of the cave. I could see the water being reflected on the walls. I just watched them move around and they reminded me of electricity. The combination of the light and hue of the pattern soothed me. I kept my eyes open, but I fell asleep. and then I opened my eyes and was awake. I could hear the birds chirping and felt the warmth of the sun at my feet. There was an odd rhythm playing that helped me transition from the dream to my reality.


	9. Hooked up to an IV, we danced together

03.06.2021

I had a good one this morning.   
I entered a room where people were dancing. I stood close to the entrance, and I watched everyone in masks, waltzing and moving in unison. A group of girls saw me and approached me enthusiastically as though we were all long time friends. One of the girls introduced me to her brother. She thought we would suit each other, and when I looked at him, I thought he was gorgeous. He was so tall, and he had this smile that made me feel like no one else was in the room. The place was like a ballroom and school auditorium. There were metal chairs where people sat, and there was a random set list of songs playing in the back with no one changing the songs. He and I danced together briefly, but I saw how those girls were getting excited and hooking up with other people trying to match them. I saw them match another girl with another girl, and I was intrigued. I was a little jealous, wishing that was me with that beautiful woman. He shifted my chin in his palm, and romantically said, "Don't forget about me." I smiled and laughed, but replied, "I'm sorry. I won't." He was nice. When we finished dancing, I told him I was going to explore the area a bit. I was still in this dream and curious of the area. I went into another dance room, but this one was across the one I was at like a mirror reflection, but it was opposite. It was dark. It wasn't in an auditorium, and there was just a bar with neon, chromatic lights. It was like being a dark, red room. People weren't dancing either. Some were at the bar. Others were sitting at random chairs and tables. No one was excited, and people were looking kind of glum. I saw a woman that resembled my exes mother. She was on the floor, looking defeated, so I went up to her and asked, "what's wrong?" She was tired, but replied, "I want to be like all of you too. I want to get excited and dance with a gorgeous guy," I was surprised to know that she could see us from within this side of the area. I reassured her saying, "Let's plan something. Let's do it. Let's go out together to a club and have so much fun. I know of a tasty drink we could make too." She wasn't sad anymore, and she started getting excited with me, just as she did, she looked up to me and said, "And we'll wear masks too?!" and I replied, "Of course. We have to stay safe." All those girls that came up to me in the beginning came in and brought the excitement to the women in the room. Suddenly, I was no longer needed to help cheer up this woman. I left to go check on the brother, and I saw him dancing with someone else. Before I walked in, I saw him kiss her. I looked at him and said, "you move on quick," as he walked out opening the door to chase the girl. He responded, "Your fault for leaving me hanging." I thought, what an asshole. I was standing in the middle of the room completely disappointed and said out loud, "I still wanted to dance too." Just as I said so, an elderly woman hooked up to an iv sitting on one of those metal chairs looked to me. I looked back and she pointed at herself smiling and then pointed at the dance floor. She was asking me to dance with her. I smiled immediately and nodded. I thought, why not? So I picked her up. She was so small and frail, and I was worried about standing too far from the machine that held her IV together. But I just looked at her, smiled, and held her hand out to dance together. She made me so happy. She made the experience so much better knowing I got the chance to dance again. I let her head rest on my shoulder as we moved together. People were applauding, smiling watching us. Everyone else stopped dancing and watched us. Someone decided to go to the set list and change the song to something they liked, but I didn't care for the music. We kept dancing.


	10. Extra Terrestrial

3/10/2021

These dreams are starting to freak me out. It always starts off with having this out of body experience. I made the mistake of sleeping in the dark. Whenever I turn off the lights, the dreams, what I see turns into something frightening. Another out of body experience. I was running around my room frantically because there was a thunderstorm and something like a shadow was chasing me. Usually sleep paralysis keeps me glued to my bed, but instead, I was trying to remember how to use my legs and running around from corner to corner of my bedroom. The shadow was over my body, but I wasn't there. I was watching it over my body and the thunder gave me minimal light. I don't understand why the mind works like this. In real life, I had one light turned on in the living room, but in my dream, everything was turned off. I could see all that I owned, my tv, my mirror, my rug, but the only difference was that all the lights were out. It's like my body was getting prepared for launch. 

In the second dream, I was traveling over a supernova. I could see the rays and abyss. I was only passing by it. It's like I was being shipped through outer space. I was being sold to other human like beings on another planet. It reminded me of Ai No Kusabi. 

I remember it starting in a rain forest where the laboratory was. Just like animals are driven around in trucks with ventilation, so were humans. All of us were confused, scared, and freaked out. I think some of us were going to be experimented on, while others were going to be sold for ownership like pets. 

I know because they had us all sit in a white room, wearing white uniform to train us on what was going to happen to us. They told us we weren't on Earth anymore, and that there was nowhere else for us to go. We had no choice to obey because they also had tracking devices inserted in our bodies. 

I saw the star I traveled over in the presentation, and before I could go any further in my training, one of the lab techs came up to me and took me away from the group. I said goodbye to a few other people I met there. They were telling me someone purchased me. It was just this blonde, stern looking man. He looked like he was upset with me. He was young and handsome, but the way he reserved himself to be so stern made him seem older than he looked. I think his eyes were the color similar to honey. Crystal clear and light brown. He didn't say a word to me. He just yanked me by my arm and pulled me out of there. He buckled me into his car and treated me like a pet owner would. It was eerie, but I was just content knowing I wouldn't be getting experimented on. I looked out the window as he drove on, and I could see the area. It was beautiful. It reminded me of Spain and Mexico, like an island with warm weather. He kept giving me side glances and continued to grip on his wheel to rush home. I didn't know what he was going to do to me. 

When we did arrive to his place, it was nice. Everything looked expensive. From the front entrance gates to the mansion. It was sleek and like a frank lloyd home. very parallel lines. When we got inside, he took me to my room, and told me I had to get dressed because we were going to go visit his family. He wanted to introduce me to them. I wanted to whine, and he saw me hesitate and ruminate over it. When he saw that hesitation, he reminded me, "You have no choice. Hurry up," and he threw the clothes at me. It was a frilly sun dress with a bunch of floral patterns. I remember the entryway of his family's home so distinctly for some reason. It was like an ancient, chinese, emperor's home. The front was looked, but then the entryway where we entered and took off our coats was also locked. It was enough for me that the front where the car entered was gated, but this time, there were two locks upon arrival. it felt like a trick room, where we had to solve a puzzle to enter through the final door. He knew how to solve the puzzle in seconds. I guess he visited his family often. 

They were nice people. They took me to where food was and where I could lounge while they went into another room to talk about something. I guess they didn't eat, but they prepared so much fruit and meat over a long dining table. The home reminded me of an expensive vacation house.   
I wasn't alone for too long. A random little girl came into the lounge room and started talking to me about where I came from. She told me to exchange numbers with her, "how smart", I thought. But I was surprised to know a girl that was like five years old had a cell phone. It was a cute phone too, like a hello kitty flip phone. It makes me want to buy one. When they came back from talking, the family and him were smiling at us talking to each other. I was curious to know what they were thinking, and I said, "What?" What's wrong?" He replied with, "You met the other family pet," and I looked back at her. She immediately smiled and started acting cheery and cutesy. 

I thought, Is that why she gave me her number? to keep tabs or to plot an escape? 

He started explaining to me that their people can also purchase kids as pets, and it messed with my head. Why would they want a kid? Because they want to take care of it? They want to be parents? and he replied, "Yeah, to be parents. They haven't given up on being parents," he said so after looking back at his parents. 

How did he know what I was thinking..I thought, and he replied, "That's what comes with ownership. I can hear what you're thinking whenever I like, and I can also see through your memories. I know about the other version of yourself you keep dreaming about. You fell in love with the male version of yourself in your dreams, and I find that fascinating." 

He held on to my hand, but I was scared- scared and hyperventilating. He saw my reaction, and as if they all knew what was going to happen, they tried to calm me down before I disappeared. His mom said, "it's no use, she's going to disappear soon." He just looked at me and held on to my hand as i hyperventilated back into my body and room. I woke up.


End file.
